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ANN ARBOR IDIOT
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at
8:50 AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk
turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
away.
KENTUCKY IDIOTS
Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by
running a chain from the machine to the bumper of
their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel
off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off
their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home.
...with the chain still attached to the machine.
...with their bumper still attached to the chain.
...with their vehicle's license plate still attached
to the bumper.
LOUISIANA IDIOT
A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened
the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for
all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total
amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15.00. [If
someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a
crime committed?]
ARKANSAS IDIOT
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he
lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at
the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
SEATTLE IDIOT
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than
he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find
an ill man, curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his
hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The
owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying
that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Do you know of an idiot that should be on this page? Send me the story.